Ramadhan 2011

I have been keeping low for the last month as too many things happening in a short span of time. Needed some time to digest and chill, actually. A very hectic ramadhan this year even though the boys are not with me. Sarah is forever handful and with my time in the office is draining my energy. A lot of programs during ramadhan and my little girl had not been well too. She had flu and asthma for a week. I hope this week she will be okay.

The boys will be coming back this week but they will be with A for the hari raya. He will take them a few days before raya leaving me alone for this auspicious day. But on the other hand, hari raya is just another day. I will be celebrating my third year of "independence" on 1st Syawal and I think it's good to be alone too. Nothing to celebrate.....

To all, Selamat Hari Raya and may Allah bless all of you....

Hopefully

After discussing about this matter with A, we decided to send Zaid to another school, a 'boarding islamic' school actually. We feel that its the best for him and hopefully he is able to turn on a new leaf. It was a hard decision for me but I need to be firm in this matter.

Whatever happens, the kids will forever be the loves of my life....

Sarah is 11 today!

Today 5th July 2011 is Sarah's 11th birthday. How time flies... The kids have grown just before my eyes. That means I am getting older too, yet wiser. Sounds like VI's motto, eh? We had ice cream at Baskin Robbins last night and had dinner at a Thai Restaurant with another student.

I bought some new CDs before having dinner. Can't resist buying the CDs actually.... My student was awed with my impromptu purchases. Shopping is a part of my therapy... Whenever I feel depressed, I start buying things.

Will plan for sarah's party next week. Too busy this week.....

Hello again.

It's been quite some time since I update my blog. I had been tied up with some work but most of all, too many things happening that needed my attention. They really drained my energy.

Btw during school holidays, I took Zaid and Sarah to Hong Kong. Initially I thought of taking them in Sept but since Zaki refused to follow, I decided to go earlier. At least there's summer sale in HK. Spent a whole day at Disneyland to fulfill Sarah's wish. It was damn hot! Luckily Zaid was around, at least he could accompany Sarah on her rides. Managed to cover almost all parts of the place. The next time I go Hk would be another 3 years time!,

An unfortunate event happened to my son and I was devastated. I was even more upset considering their father's attitude towards the event. Due to this, I knew that I had to stay strong and not let my emotion failed me. I don't want to fall into another phase of depression and I immediately sought help for my son. I pray that Allah will give me strength....

Since this unfortunate event, I realized that A had never cared about us. This case is somehow similar to what I went through 3 years back and even then he wasn't supportive and left me in the lurch. I do have my regrets now.... What kind of a father he is and a man in general. His attitude proved his selfishness. What a sad thing.....

I need to pull through this and go on with my life. Thanks to all my friends who supported morally and most of all, Alhamdulillah, Praise to Allah.

Closure....

I finally had a talk with A's mum yesterday. We had lunch together at a mall. I called in the morning to arrange a meeting with her and she accepted my invitation. Soon after that A messaged to inform that they were quite apprehend to meet me. As I only wanted to pass some of their belongings n a gift, I told him that the meeting is harmless.

She came with his sisters but they did not had lunch. We talked for a couple of hours and by the end, I consider that it was a closure. I managed to speak my mind without any fear of being judged n I really hope they finally understood my situation and standing.

I hope that with this closure, I am able to move forward (faster...) n knowing that they are aware of the situation, I feel great. I just want to leave bygones be bygones....

Almost to the end

Alhamdulillah... My court case has come almost to the end. We finally signed a new agreement n now awaiting for the court order. It was a long wait for me but at the end all ended well... I was anxious to wait for the final day but I was glad that we finally agreed to settle it amicably. He should have just followed the earlier agreement that we signed but he insisted to fight in court. I really don't understand why he wanted to go through the ordeal n the agony. My lawyer is 15k richer from my case but I am very happy with his service.

Now I feel free n happy with the decision.... Thank you, A.

Mixed feelings

The last two weeks was very hectic and I was dead tired.... Had classes almost every night for the last two weeks and a big event on both weekends. And worst of all having Zaid with conjunctivitis, a severe one. He could not attend school and his term exam. And the school refused to accept his MC. I am surprised with that A could not sort this matter with zaid's teachers. If zaid is still under my care, I would have tried harder but......

The most disappointing thing is that his wife somehow is not willing to take care of my kids. Bukannya budak kecik pun.... Since dia sakit, jaga lah sekejap. My duration being married, I was the one taking care of all of them in sickness and barely a month being with him, they were given ultimatum and warning after warning..... What happened to the so-called complete family he claimed to have with wife, maid and the works!!!?

I have mixed feelings now.... Should I or shouldn't I? I want A to be responsible for his kids and most of all be responsible for all his wrong doings. What the use of a wife should she not able to care for your own flesh and blood? Is she only after your wealth? But whatever it may be, my kids have all the legal rights and I will make sure that they know their rights and will fight till the end should anything happened to me. Is this the perfect one that you yearned and cried over for the last 21 years?....

What a sad thing....